Category Archives: Love

A Logical, Sane and Smart Thing

In April 2010, I started blogging with the intention of publishing a blog post at least once a week, if not more. Since taking a holiday last year, my published posts dwindled to about once a month.

Around the time of my one year blogging anniversary, I prodded you to README, to hear me out etc… then silence. For over a month, there was no word from me. So when your writing output is down and posts are few and far between, what is the most logical, sane and smart thing to do? Create another blog!

And that’s what I did. 😀

Love Animals Now is my second blog and, as its name suggests, it’s where I advocate truly loving animals and cease looking at them as food. It’s time to make ourselves aware about this whole issue of cruelty and eating animals, and to exercise our sense of compassion and empathy for these long-suffering beings.

I have learned that giving up meat is not that hard to do. If I, a once hard-core meat lover and a picky eater can do it, so can you. You just need to make an effort to listen, to know, to care.

I’ll share my take on various issues in future posts, including impacts of animal production, my response to friends’ comments on eating meat etc.

I remember when my daughter was a toddler. I learned to pick up one sure sign she was up to no good and this is when she was very quiet. In my case, my being quiet didn’t mean I was up to no good. In fact, I’m trying to do good (blogging about pertinent things), but it would be more fun to do it with you. 🙂

Earthianne is my blog for sharing my stories, opinions and other musings.

Love Animals Now is my blog for sharing one of my new-found beliefs that:

not eating animals = truly loving animals + loving yourself and others.

After all, as others teach and believe, we are one, interconnected and interdependent.

Please go over to Love Animals Now for my latest take on a topic very close to my heart — The Unpalatable Reality of Eating Animals.

I hope to see you there. 🙂

Pleaaase Don’t Eat Me

Don't eat me

Cute Babe

If only the real Babe could speak…

I’ve been catching up on my knowledge on the loveable antics of animals, especially farm animals. Did you know that animals are much like humans in so many ways?

Animals form close, deep and long-lasting relationships not only with humans, but also with their own kind as well as other species of animals. Researchers and other observers say they love hanging out with their animal and/or human ”best friends”. They are playful and inquisitive, or get themselves into mischief. They feel joy, happiness, contentment, loyalty and love! They are capable of intense love and affection that humans could very well learn from them.

It’s not only feelings of joy though. They feel physical discomfort, suffer mental anguish, squeal in protest, feel terrorised, endure agony, scream in pain, get stressed, and also express extreme distress when separated from their loved ones.

So you can easily imagine how the deplorable and shameful situations in slaughterhouses take its toll on animals. They hold a grudge to those who hurt them. They have long memories, remember past hurts and some, like the chimpanzees, even after many years, don’t forgive. It’s not only elephants who mourn the loss of loved ones and friends, but other animals too.

These are just a few things we have in common with them. And yet, there are many more things we don’t truly know about them.

In her book, The Inner World of Farm Animals, Their Amazing Social, Emotional and Intellectual Capacities, Amy Hatkoff says animals with reasonably complex brains have ”vivid and distinct personalities, minds capable of some kind of rational thought and… feelings”.

Marc Bekoff, in The Emotional Lives of Animals notes that ”Careful scientific research is validating what we intuitively understand: that animals feel, and their emotions are as important to them as ours are to us… Their joy is the purest and most contagious of joys, and their grief the deepest and most devastating.”

Some of the things that farm animals are reported to do or possess, which many of us may or may not know:

We're not food

Loving pigs

• Pigs love video games. They are more intelligent than dogs; smarter than poodles.
• Even though pigs have small brain, they are teachable and are fast learners (what they call a ”one-trial learner”).
• Chickens can count and ”use their right and left brains for different functions”.
• Chickens and roosters have ”highly developed communication skills”.
• Ducks have good sense of humour, and are suspected to even have ”regional accents”.
• Turkeys recognise each other by their voices.
• Turkeys love human companionship and, armless as they are, love to hug and be hugged by humans.
• Goats are ”affectionate” and ”love attention”.
• Sheeps recognise faces and ”respond to emotional cues from both human and sheep faces”.
• Cows are perceptive, sensitive and are self-aware.
• African Buffalos were observed to be making decisions by, what else, ”voting”!

k.d. lang asked a good question, ”We all love animals. Why do we call some ‘pets’ and others ‘dinner’?”

Jane Goodall, a UN Messenger of Peace, shows us how she quit salivating for animal flesh: ”I looked at the piece of animal on my plate, and it symbolized fear, pain, death. I stopped eating it.”

Watching http://www.earthlings.com did it for me. In fact, it was not the merciless torture the animals suffer or the physical and/or psychological problems caused by unthinking humans shown on the video that stuck with me. It was the sight of a dog, perhaps bound to be euthanised, sitting in a corner of its cell with the saddest of eyes I’ve ever seen in a dog.

Unless we watch videos/documentaries or read books on animals and their rights, we’ll remain ignorant about their plight.

I feel so much love for animals now I lost my desire for eating animal meat, much less handle cooked or raw, dead, bloodied meat. Quitting eating meat is not that hard, at least from my experience, once you have a shift in your thinking about the true nature of and our relationship with animals. Once you realise what loving and respecting animals truly mean, you’ll lose your craving for animal flesh. This is coming from me, a one-time hard core meat lover right up to late last year and a picky eater one at that.

My eyes, mind and heart are now wide open. I look at animals in a new light. I now see what other long-time genuine animal lovers see.

Joe Hutto, a naturalist who studied and wrote about wild turkeys, sums it up nicely, ”The time I spent with them was this wonderful kind of humiliation. We are not superior beings, we are just different beings. We are not more interesting creatures.”

* * *

Sources and recommended reading:

The Inner World of Farm Animals, Their Amazing Social, Emotional and Intellectual Capacities by Amy Hatkoff.
Ninety Five, Meeting America’s Farmed Animals in Stories and Photographs, edited by No Voice Unheard.
Animal Liberation by Peter Singer
The Ten Trusts by Jane Goodall and Marc Bekoff

Note: The above images are from istockphoto.com.

Fun + Games + Giggles + Laughter = Young Mind and Heart

“No, we’re not going out of the house with you dressed like that! It’s too revealing! Wear something more appropriate!”

“What is wrong with th… ?”

“No!”

“What if I put…”

“No!!”

The only time I attempt to dress “youngish” and not my age, my Gen Y daughter stops me in my tracks.

On her Facebook wall on my last birthday, she dobbed me in to her friends:

“busted my mum trying on my clothes when she’s 2 sizes bigger. Walked past her room to find her struggling to get my top past her elbows, bwahaha.”

How is that funny, Michelle??

* * *

Trying too hard to look young or sexy, made obvious by inappropriate dressing, surely backfires. On a page on Oprah’s website, it says, “The number one mistake women make is shopping by size, not by fit”. Author of Before You Put That On, Lloyd Boston, advises, “Get the clothes that fit, not the number you want to be and your clothes will look so much sexier.”

The word “sexi-er” convinced me. Lloyd, I’ll remember that next time I’m tempted to buy a size 8 top!
[Note though that it says “your clothes” will look sexier, not necessarily you! Lol]

I’m at that stage where I’m starting to see the ravages of time. Having just added another year to my ever increasing age, I think I’ll have to start asking people not to scrutinise my face. People my age have long been conscious of sagging facial skin and drooping eyelids, plus the increasing “threat of invasion” of white hair on our head.

It was about a decade ago when I start to stammer when replying to people’s questions about my age. In spite of believing age is just a number and my recent pronouncements of not shying away from admitting it, I still get tongue-tied when asked. I’m failing one of my new year’s resolutions already (of being authentic) and we’re only in January!

So I worked out a sure-fire plan to help keep our attitude and mindset as young as when we were, say, in our 20s or even 30s, to continue—with the emphasis on “continue”—to keep ourselves perpetually young in mind and young at heart, even if not in face and body.

These may not work for everyone but I’m sticking to these from now on to ensure we have as much fun while we can and we’re able and to minimise stress:

Watch your language

• Stop calling yourself “old” and stop using that word to describe people who were young once.

• If you ever need to ask someone their age, choose to say “how young are you?” You know it’s a good trick to make someone, including yourself, smile.

Be a student for life

• I joke that I’m a mature student of love (okay, I’m half serious). Whether it’s learning about love (as it’s such a broad topic), acquiring a new skill, reading, learning a new hobby or studying for a course, keep your curiosity about new things alive.

Keep your sense of fun

They say high school is one of the most fun times of one’s life and it was for me. Maintain your sense of fun and love for games just like when you were younger.

• If you’re physically able, go ahead and dance, play sports or board games or, if you dare, even naughty games! Fun!!

• Giggle a lot; laugh heartily, loudly and often (though not too much or you risk your co-workers’ ire, if you work in an office). Crack jokes but, of course, make sure not at the expense of others.

• See life only as “role playing” — at home, at work and on Earth. This should keep our ego in check and make us not think of life and oneself seriously. I’m serious!

I know this is easier said than done, especially if you’re in a middle of a serious illness or problem, or a tragedy, but then again a lot of people take a lot of things seriously even at times they shouldn’t. [See “Solutions focused” below.]

Indulge in music

There was a period of about 10 years that I stopped listening to music. Big mistake!! Music soothes our soul — those in the know say!

• One suggestion—regardless of your age—while listening to music, bop your head, let your body move to the rhythm and feel the music. Heaven!

Spring to life

• Exercise can’t be over-emphasised. One of my goals this year is to be more physically active. Kickboxing, bring it on!!

• Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy and wise. My parents used to drum this saying into us when my siblings and I were growing up. I struggle with this still as I come alive at night.

Glorious food

• If you haven’t started, develop an “eat-and-drink healthy-consciousness”. This means no meat, no sweets (ok, not too much and not too often is another one of my goals), saturated and trans-fat a big no-no, use salt sparingly and avoid sodas (unless you’re having it with vodka, lol).

Self-love

• Affirm: I’m one of a kind… and so are you!

• Go to health retreats and give frequent special treats to self.

• Acceptance of your shortcomings, weaknesses and imperfections.

• Learn to accept and love your body, however difficult it may be to do so. Read here on how to have a healthy body image. It’s not too late!!

Solutions focused

For most of us who believe there is spirit life after physical death, we take our life on Earth so seriously. We forget it’s only temporary so therefore our respective and collective situations here are also temporary.

If tragedy strikes, of course we allow ourselves time to grieve, cry and feel pain for a while. Then we start to recover, feel better and eventually start to get over our sad situation. It’s when we drag our feelings of misery, resentment and/or self-pity for too long that can really have a detrimental effect on our health.

• Reduce, if not eliminate, negativities that we sometimes allow ourselves to indulge in. [See “Keep your sense of fun” above.]

• See problems as opportunities to learn and grow, as they say. As John Lennon puts it in Watching the Wheels, “There’s no problem; only solutions.”

• Don’t let any bastards get you down (well, at least not for long).

It’s not at all surprising that the things you can do to delay (for as long as possible, at least) one’s physical decline are also, it appears, the same things that you can do to keep your heart and mind forever young.

Image pinched from an email. If I reach her age, I promise to act like this but not to dress like this. 😀

Does young mind + young heart = immaturity??

I don’t think so. You know why?

Fun + games + giggles + tears of laughter + enjoyment = young mind and young heart.

I admit Maths isn’t my strong point, but I’m positive the above formula adds up.

* * *

Last weekend at a friend’s party, instead of spending my time conversing with adults, I spent the whole time playing Wii with a 10-year old!

While the adults in the party were probably thinking what you’re thinking, my young friend, Yashar, is now convinced his khale (auntie) is cool!

Post updated on 22 January 2011.

‘Lovelier’ the Second Time Around

I’m funny like this. I shook my head vigorously when I asked myself silently, ‘Am I now a vegetable lover?’

I’m not a fan of vegetables!

I was a meat craver who is now learning to adjust to a non-meat diet. Add to this ‘comedic situation’, being a closet prima donna, if no one peels, de-seeds and slices fruits for me, I don’t remember to eat them.

How am I going to feed myself?

Once, several years ago, I attempted to become a vegetarian for health reasons, not for any moral, compassionate, empathetic reasons. But my first attempt didn’t last long.

Late 2010 and my once-held desire to be a vegetarian is re-awakened. This time I resolve seriously to eliminate all meat and some animal by-products, and possibly seafood, in my diet.

To help family and friends decide what food to prepare for me when I go over to their homes and visit, remember this:

I dislike zucchini, eggplants, okra, soggy capsicums, string beans and olives.

I eat but I’m not a big fan of corn, green peas and cucumbers.

I cringe at fresh or cooked tomatoes and has no intention to eat them for the rest of my life! Never mix them in your food or salads if you plan to share them with me.

So how do I intend to stay a vegetarian, if not a vegan, being very fussy with food?

Well, I like yellow squash, pumpkin, carrots, mushrooms, spinach, celery, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, sweet potatoes and potatoes. I love avocados. I don’t mind the different kinds of lettuces.

It’s not difficult to prepare food for vegetarians. Just cook some of your favourite food the usual way and just don’t add any meat or seafood! Voilà, you have a vegetarian meal!

My eyes light up when I see desserts. I hope to develop that feeling when I see vegetables.

I love some fruits. I love all kinds of nuts. I love pulses and legumes. I love brown rice. I just have to learn to love vegetables.

Surprisingly, I haven’t been craving for meat (granted, it’s just been a couple of weeks, lol). I can’t stand the thought now of what animals go through to serve one of my physiological needs. I no longer see animals as food. Would you care to join me in this lifesaving, cruelty-minimising crusade?

I’m no longer sure I can still handle raw meat and cook and serve them at home for family and guests.

When I think of a hamburger or any of my ex-favourite meat food, my face contorts. So it’s a good sign and I’m optimistic announcing this intention of giving up meat for good on my blog is not something I’d regret later on.

I’ve been reading on the many pros and cons on being a vegan or vegetarian and lots of advice on what supplements to take so as not to be deficient in certain vitamins and minerals.

My reasons for this life-changing decision is as I described in my Empathy post, not necessarily for health reasons. So far, I feel good. In months to come, I’m positive I’ll even feel better.

By the way, I went to see an eye specialist. When I offered the information that I’ve become ‘a vegetarian’—which felt funny when I said it—he gave me more than a pat on the back. He replied, ‘your body will LOVE you for it!‘. Hearing the word ‘love’, I took it somehow as an indication the universe approves!

I love giving up meat! It’s surprisingly easier for me this time around.

* * *

A friend let me know of these vegetarian restaurants. If you’re in Sydney, check them out too:

Green Gourmet
Bodhi Restaurant
Mother Chu’s Vegetarian Kitchen

Read if you will:

Animal Rights: The Abolitionist
ihealth Directory
Vegetarian Starter Guide
The Definitive Vegetarian Starter Guide
Vegetarian Diet: How to get the best nutrition

Lover and Loves

As part of my process of sharing my thoughts and of tackling love themes, here’s a just-for-fun, amateur poem about my loves and interests.

I am a LOVER of…

Words
I string them together as musings for my blog
Place them side by side
To play scrabble or Upwords

Non-fiction books
Magazines, blogs and e-news
Voraciously devouring
Every written thing I could

Fun
Like playful banters
Tongue-in-cheek jokes
Giggles and laughter

Food
I’ve got a sweet tooth
How else did you think
I ballooned?

A good drink
Guess what I’ll evoke
In the right atmosphere
It’s vodka and coke

Roulette
Winning big a few times
I won’t admit though
To losing a few dimes!

Music
Metal and rock classic
Singing my heart out
To my neighbours’ detriment

Philosophy
Often preoccupied with things of the mind
As deep meaning in life I seek
But the answers go over my head!

Life
Now seeing the world afresh
My new canvass is spread out
For me to colourfully illustrate.

P.S. I have other loves, of course!
I’ll share one of them with you in my next post, a more serious topic.

Conscious Acts of Love

istockphoto.com

A friend kindly shared this with me about her better half:

Every morning, when I come downstairs after getting ready for work, Gary has fed our bird, got our dog’s food ready, put bread in the toaster for me, or whatever I’m having at the time, and is eating his own breakfast.

On occasion, he will say I love you, and it’s always wonderful to hear it, but all these things he does, he does to say I love you!

* * *

Words of love are sometimes expressed far too casually. Acts of love is my preferred ‘default’ mode.

People somehow feel insecure when you don’t affirm your love through words and take for granted other deeper, meaningful ways you demonstrate it to them.

To people who know me but have never heard me tell them I love them, let me count the many other ways you can be reassured:

1. See it in my kindness and random displays of thoughtfulness.

2. Hear it in my giggles and laughter in my constant attempt and desire to amuse you or those times when I’m amused by you.

3. Smell it in my willingness to help, even in small or insignificant ways.

4. Taste it in my quiet and sometimes inaudible words of appreciation for every little or big thing you do.

5. Be touched by my support and encouragement (more often than not) for what your heart desires to do.

6. Accept it in my periods of generosity and little hint of selfishness.

7. ‘Get it’ in my deep reservoir of patience and appreciate not many are as patient.

8. Listen to the gentle way I speak, which others mistake for meekness.

9. Observe it in my being polite regardless of your status in life, and rare* outbursts of anger or rudeness.

10. Know it each time I give in and indulge you, even if it seems I do it more often than you.

11. Notice it in my tolerance of many things, even in those times I shouldn’t tolerate them.

12. Understand it in the absence of nagging, especially in those times you’d more appreciate silence.

13. Sense it in my being considerate and understanding, even if sometimes you don’t know why I do what I do.

14. Detect it in my instinct to tell the truth and be as honest as I possibly can.

15. Appreciate it in my sense of fair play and devoid of any thoughts to deceive or use you.

16. Feel the love in how I treat your loved ones and friends.

I could go on and on…

My point is love can be expressed in more ways than one. Words of love don’t guarantee true love. I ‘ooze’ love through these every day and sometimes deliberate actions. Acts of love, if done consistently and consciously, are more real and convincing.

I wish more people were like Gary in the quote above. No matter how often you say it, marry loving words with consistent loving actions.

These are my perspectives on love. What are yours?

* I’m lucky that only few people rub me the wrong way.

I Love You

istockphoto.com

There!

It’s easy to write it but many find it difficult to say – not the least me.

I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Easy!

Copy and paste.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

So easy.

I may be one of the remaining few who considers LOVE a sacred word.

‘I Love You’, even more sacred.

Love is not to be uttered willy-nilly.

I’m a generous person but when it comes to spoken expressions of love, I’m stingy.

The words don’t come freely out of my mouth, unless I mean it, truly feel it… at that moment.

I don’t write it, only to cross it out.

I don’t give it, only to take it back and forever.

I don’t say it, only to retract or to pussyfoot around it.

I don’t claim to have it and then I disappear or turn my attention to someone else.

I may turn mute when it comes to expressing love but one clear thing I do though is to show love in action.

My next post will show you how I ‘ooze’ love—everyday—if only you learn to read the signs, most of them non-verbal.

Love spoken but not often showed is not a lot better than unspoken love but showed often. Me thinks.

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Love is a Paradox

I must have gotten up from the wrong side of the bed, or perhaps it was the right side – you decide. I had a sudden thought to blog about a paradox.

This is an easy yet difficult subject, which only a few have mastered.

A subject that is simple, yet so complex.

I, myself, at this ripe old age of, well, old, is an inexperienced student and still learning.

I’m talking about LOVE.

istockphoto.com

There is the romantic, the familial, the neighbourly love…

There is the love for God, for friends, for pets…

Then there is universal love which is all-embracing and signifying unconditional love for all…

And there is self love.

There is no single, universally-accepted definition of love. Love is described in many various ways by very many people.

Is it just me or am I missing something? Is love an enigma?

Those who profess to know the full meaning of the word LOVE, speak.

Love is a word that begs to be defined succinctly.

Love is one powerful, emotion-evoking, all-encompassing word.

Love is most longed for, most dreamed about and most-sought after.

But we all know love is also misunderstood, misused and abused.

So do you really know what love is and what love is not?

Help me answer my questions.

Help me understand love and all its complexities.

Recognise love where I think I see falsity;

See love when it seems none exists;

Find love where it may hide.

[This is the first of many posts about this love-ing feeling.]

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[British/Australian spelling used.]